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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Anne Marie

     She is first-born, and the sister of my best friend in all the world.  She grew up in a pastor's home, and a home filled with music.  Both of her parents were musical -- especially her dad, the Reverend, and her two sisters.  She herself played the violin and the organ, and sang, as do her siblings, and I've heard that trio sing some of the most beautiful little songs, as she and the sisters still sing when they get together.  All three women are beautifully gifted, in their own way, in music.

     Then, as now, she loved the Lord her God with heart, soul and mind -- not because she just inherited the habit from her parents or upbringing, or with osmosis from the church walls.  No, but because she had, and has, relationship with Him, made God her own God, decided to follow Him because she knew God to be good and true and right.

     In 1967, 18 year old Anne Marie set off to college.  She was good at mathematics, which I find interesting in light of all her right-brained talents.  She was two weeks into her first semester when she had a blinding, blazing headache.  Fortunately, the Health Office showed the good sense to get her to a hospital to get checked.  Inside her head they found a hidden evil that had been crouching, waiting to harm Annie, lying in wait, it seemed, her whole life.  It was an Arterial-Venous Malformation (AVM) in her brain, a tangled mass of arteries and veins that don't belong there, and it was bleeding.  This was causing pressure on her brain, giving her headache, destroying brain tissue, endangering her life.

  Neurosurgeons opened her head and began to clip off vessels to try to stop the bleeding.  They could not take out the AVM, it was too large, too complicated.  Even clipping some of the vessels to try to stop the bleeding was dangerous, for who could be sure what, in the brain, the vessels were feeding?  Would the act of stopping the bleeding in itself cause more harm?  When it was all done, young Anne Marie could not speak.  She could not walk.  There was no more violin, no organ, and school, for the present, was done for her.  But not all was lost!  She had family that loved her, a faith in God that they all shared, and the spunk and hopes of youth!

     Eventually, with long days, months, years, of speech and physical therapy, coupled with the devotion of her family, Anne walked again.  She retained some weakness in her right side, and a limp, but she walked.  Her right arm also was affected with weakness, but it was usable.  She learned to talk again, though she had aphasia.  You had to speak slowly for her to fully understand, it took some time and patience to communicate, but Anne persevered.

     For Anne, perseverance meant that instead of the four year college she had first planned, enrolling in an online college and getting volunteer readers and tutors to help her take one course at a time.  Year after year, one course at a time, until she finally won the goal of an Associates Degree in Early Child Development. This accomplishment led to a job in a daycare in Pittsburgh giving loving care to a group of preschoolers, a job she loved.  This was a job she held until 2002.


     I wouldn't be able to tell you the exact date, but a certain number of years ago, sometime between those fateful first weeks in college and 2002, Anne Marie met a young man named Bob.  They dated, went to church together, and Bob fell in love with her, her sweetness.  Anne .was afraid of the burden he would have caring for her for a lifetime, and broke off the relationship.  Bob's heart was truly broken, he missed her terribly.  He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, disability or no -- he was  devoted to her.  During their time apart, Anne realized she returned his love -- and they were married.  Many years later, Anne Marie will tell you with certainty in her childlike voice, "Yes, Bob loves me!"  And the depth of her love for him is so refreshing as the cold wind of divorce blows through our culture!

       Anne was married and working in that preschool when I met her in 1999.  The children loved her at her job.  When there was an armed intruder in the building housing the preschool -- and the targeted office -- all offices and the preschool were evacuated.  We have a picture from the newspaper of Annie leading a group of children out of the building, limping along calmly in a little sea of toddlers faithfully holding her hands and arms. 
     In 2002 Anne Marie was walking to the dentist through what has been known as a rather dangerous part of Pittsburgh, when she fell to the ground.  The AVM started to bleed again.  There, in that 'infamous and dangerous' part of town, as she was lying helpless on the sidewalk, an African-American woman cradled her head on her lap and comforted her.  Another man called Bob on his cell phone, then called 911.  The stayed with her until the ambulance came.  And, of course, nothing was missing from Anne's belongings when she got to the hospital!  Of course, God had sent His angels to watch over our beautiful Annie!

     This bleed of 2002, however, left its mark on our girl.  Now she wears a brace on her right leg, and uses a quad cane or motorized wheelchair to move about.  Her whole right side is paralyzed, her right arm is useless and contracted, though it moves at the shoulder and some at the elbow to hold things down.  The fingers, rigid and tightly curled into her palm, can't be used.  Her aphasia became worse, and her work at the daycare was over.

     But her spirit is the same.  When I talk to her on the phone, she is full of joy at any small triumph of mine, rejoicing with me.  She is ready to share Scripture with me, and talk of God's goodness to her.  She has had her questions, times when she has wondered at the justice of what God has allowed in her life.  But she determines in her sweet voice, "I don't question it, [God's love for me, His wisdom]."  She believes the truth of Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good for those who love God, and who are called according to His purpose,"  even if life's final chapter is not entirely visible.  We see through a glass "darkly".   Anne Marie is still singing with her sisters, harmonizing just the same, though sometimes a bit of hesitation here and there on some of the words, but still singing so earnestly about the Lord she loves so deeply!  She closes every conversation with nearly every person she meets the same way :  "Now, how can I pray for you?  For what can I be praying for you?"  Oh, and she prays for you, it's no empty promise!

     I took her to a flea market at a local farmers' market once over a holiday weekend.  We walked up and down the aisles, and she charmed every vendor with her childlike fascination, her joy in the simplest things, completely without guile.  I'm buying things, but the vendors are  GIVING Anne Marie little gifts of their wares.  These vendors are world-wise, but Anne has captured their hearts.

And that is Anne Marie.

     This weekend Bob found Anne on the bathroom floor, covered with vomit, but conscious.  At the hospital they found that she was bleeding again at the same spot as our old 'friend', that old cursed AVM.  Due to the initial surgery, no further surgeries can be done.  We were told that the next time Anne would bleed, the only intervention is prayer that the bleeding stops before it gets too advanced and does further damage.  Because of the metal clips in her head, they can't do MRI tests, but only serial CT scans to try to keep track of the bleeding, to know when it stops.  It bled Friday night.  All day Saturday.  At least part of Saturday night.  Early Sunday morning my best friend drove out to Pittsburgh to be with Anne.  When she got there and walked on to ICU, Anne's face just lit up to see her sister!  And the CT scan revealed GOOD news for a change: the bleeding appeared to have stopped and seemed to be absorbing into the body.  Hallelujahs rang!  Initially it looks like Annie doesn't have any new paralysis or anything, but time will tell.

     Anne seems to live under this 'Sword of Damocles' with a peace and faith that truly amazes and inspires me.  I pray that this is the last time that ugly old AVM makes itself known, with its pain, fear, and dread.

Annie, we all love you so much!

POSTSCRIPT
          Last night I talked with Anne on the phone and had opportunity to pray with her just before we hung up.  When I asked if she wanted me to pray, it was "Oh, yes, let's pray..." and after, "Thanks, Pat, I love you..."

          This morning we got a call that she was unresponsive.  More bleeding during the night, and they rushed her to ICU, then put drains in her head to try to relieve the pressure.  She's a bit responsive now, walking a tightrope.  I and another of her sisters are driving out there.  And, so...we continue in prayer to a merciful God for grace for Anne Marie.



2 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, yes we will pray for Anne Marie! She is truly beautiful, inside and out. Thank you so much for sharing her story. My love to Christine, and my thoughts and prayers for Anne.

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